I swear I learnt nothing in school, or I have forgotten everything and in the eleven years since I left school (though, to be honest, I’m not sure those last two years really count either), I haven’t really learnt much new either.

Nothing academic at least, I’ve learnt lots of other stuff, that well, is good for parts of writing, the imagination and information and the likes, but less so for the technical parts of writing.

My example? The semi-colon.


I don’t use enough of them, and when I do use them, mostly I’m bluffing and hoping that’s where you put a semi-colon. Which is how I tried to get through my physics A-Level, but apparently bluffing only works at G.C.S.E level, because I’ll be dammed if I actually knew enough Biology to get a C grade. Or enough Welsh Lit. to get a C. Anyway, back to my point, I use a lot of commas, and apparently, this is bad, cause sometimes I should be using semi-colons. Which is fine, I’m learning, I will learn and there will be less commas in my essays, portfolios, fanfics and blog posts as time goes on I’m sure.

That’s the point, because I can learn about comma splices and semi-colons and other grammatical thingamabob’s (technical term), the point is, I do not remember any of this from school. I really don’t remember being taught this in school in English. I remember doing Macbeth, and the Lady Of Shallot, and making jokes about the song ‘Hit me with your Rhythm sticks’ and little else. And that was the G.C.S.E years. Even less from before then.

I swear I’m not going senile at 29, I’ve just always had a bad memory. I’ve blocked a lot of bad stuff out, and in the course of doing that (subconsciously at least), a whole lot of other stuff is just a black wall as well. That’s how I see it in my head, this black wall of nothingness. Where I’m missing a whole load of stuff.

Like when I was taught about commas and stuff. If I was taught about that stuff. I do wonder about my education sometimes. Especially when I moved to Wales and fell behind in somethings, like maths in particular because three days a week for six months, I was taken out of primary school to go to the secondary school to learn Welsh.

I get that learning Welsh is important, I’m glad I knew Welsh (I forgot most of it living in Leicester), and it is needed in this part of the country for school (and life in general) but I’m pretty sure maths is important too. At least that’s what they kept telling me in school. And I’m not a dunce at maths, I have this weird thing where I used to be able to manage equations and some complicated maths but struggle to 5+9 in my head. Anyway, so I’m not an idiot, not a maths dunce, but I missed a lot of maths and can’t do division on paper, which annoys me, and a few other things I was just behind on. I remember that quite clearly, and while maths is far from my favourite subject, when every maths teacher you have in school bleats the importance of pointless equations to you (it’s all lies kids) and all that bollocks (oh the lies!), you kinda take note of the fact you missed a shit load of maths and while you’re forgetting bad stuff, you remember other less important stuff instead, like how you were screwed out of some of your education even though you don’t actually care, cause you never liked maths, it just helps with the story.

Anyway, I’ve lost the thread of this slightly haven’t I?

I must’ve learnt somethings in school, I’m not a gibbering idiot, I just can’t remember much of it. I remember not wearing shoes for the last few years and wearing black trainers. I remember talking about the X-Files during most of GCSE Biology. And other inconsequential things like that (well, inconsequential depends on who you ask). I don’t remember any bloody grammar lessons though.

Though I don’t remember any history (I’ve learnt more since leaving school), geography (I know the route from Aberystwyth to Leicester off by heart though), chemistry (though I have finally learnt how to spell it), physics (except “Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch“), biology (well, the boring kind anyway), art (only been able to draw, etc, over the past couple of years), and I can’t remember what else I did in school aside from learn to play pool, poker and sleep through physics (though that was mostly the anti-histamines).

Anyway, I will learn to use semi-colons (not today, it’s Sunday, I can’t learn anything on a Sunday, less so when my eight-year-old nephew is here demanding my attention. Tomorrow, I’ll learn about semi-colons tomorrow.

And how to format my paragraphs properly, more important than when I’m writing fanfiction. Apparently.

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