I’m not a fan of reality.
I’m sure I’ve said this before, it’s a long standing feeling, I’ve always been a day-dreamer, and I’ve always managed to take it to the next level.
And then some.
I don’t actually exist in reality all of the time, actually I’d say I was only Rhi about 50% of the time. The rest of the time I’m someone else, somewhere else. It’s been this way since I was a teenager, younger maybe. It’s a coping mechanism, it’s easier to be somewhere else, than to be here, be me. Especially when I can’t sleep, if I had to lie there and think about my own life and being me, I would be having breakdowns every week. More so when I was a teenager and I barely slept at all. I was a proper insomniac from about the age of thirteen to nineteen, and lying there, being all angsty and hormonal, well, I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did.
It’s partly why I write, to create little places, people, worlds, a million different things I would rather be doing. I would rather be, etc. That, and I have too many words in my head.
Anyway, I started thinking about this again, because a friend sent me a link to a behind-the-scenes video of Castle.
I don’t really do behind-the-scenes stuff. I think it’s because it’s basically the reality behind the tv sows, behind the fantasy created by those tv shows. I’ll watch deleted scenes, for shows and films, but I’ve never watched anything with the dvd commentary on, or the making-of films and tv shows because I’m just not interested in the reality of it all.
The only thing I have an interest in when it comes to the reality of a tv show are some of the actors and actresses. Amanda Tapping, Hugh Laurie, Stana Katic, Nathan Fillion, Robert Downey Jr, Olivia Wilde, I could go on. I have a little more interest in these people, than I do in the making of the films and tv shows that they’re in. They in turn create little fantasies of their own, which sounds dirtier than I intend it to be, but I think you get my point, right?
Music and books are seperate again, I have zero interest in the people behind the music, I have favourite bands, but that’s because I like the music. As long as they don’t do anything completely awful, then as long as the music is good I generally think they can do whatever they want. Like everyone else in the world.
Books I’m more interested in the process of writing, the ‘making-of‘ so to speak, because I’m a writer myself. I’ve read Stephen Kings – On Writing, a great book, and I’ve got plenty of books about writing, cause I’m trying to finish my own book.
Anyway, so reality, not for me. Which is a t-shirt I used to have, but lost in the blackhole that’s in mybedroom.