It’s Bi Visibility Day. A day which celebrates bisexuals and bisexuality. Why? Because while gay and lesbian people become more and more visible and accepted in the world, and while there are more and more people who are coming out and identifying as bisexual, we, as a group can still be quite invisible and bullied by both sides of the fences. Both gay and straight people call us names, don’t take us seriously. We’re greedy, we’re confused, we’re sexual deviants or incapable of monogamy.
None of this is true.
I’m bisexual, I’m married and I’m definitely not confused about it. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life than the fact that I am bisexual. I’ve had relationships with men in the past, one for seven years and I’ve been married to my wife for over a year. I’m not greedy, I’m not a sex crazed deviant, I’m just an anxious geek who loves her wife and is attracted to both men and women. Less now I’m married I’ve noticed, but that’s not quite the point of this.
It bugs me, you know, it really upsets me, that people could think that we’re incapable of monogamy, or confused. I’ve been confused about many things about my life, but not that. I think it’s worse when gay and lesbian people think this because they should know how hard it is to be different, to come out, to be picked on.
I consider myself lucky. I’ve got a very supportive family, a LGBT+ family, some very good friends, and I really generally have had a good experience in life as a bisexual woman. Mostly cause I avoid a lot of people and spend most of my time online with geeks but still offline I’ve been lucky. I consider myself lucky.
Not everyone is as lucky.
So, what else should I tell you? Not much. My bisexuality is just a small part of me, like being a poet, or a geek, or anxious. People are complex, and whether people are confused, or greedy, or incapable of any monogamy is not connected to their sexuality. People can be greedy and gay, confused and straight, sleeping with anyone in sight and be bi. Al these things are not just bisexual traits. Bisexuals are attracted to men and women, but not every man and woman. Just like straight men are attracted to women but not every woman that exists. This should all be obvious, but here I am, spelling it out. Not necessarily for you, dear reader, but for someone.
I know someone from every sort of walk of life, and don’t judge them based on their sexuality. Or their skin colour. or even what they decided to wear this morning. Even if my sister did go out once in a onesie and high heels. I don’t actually spend a lot of time with the LGBT community of Aberystwyth, unless they’re already friends of mine. Which some of them are, but I’m not friends with them because they’re gay, bi, trans or queer. Actually a lot of my friends here in the real world are my friends because they’re nuts, but that’s a different post.
Anyway, be proud bisexuals, and fly a flag, or you know, just be you and be happy cause that’s what’s important. As for me, I’m going to make a cup of tea. Cause I like tea.